Valentine's Date

I have never really been that into Valentine's Day. Now, don't get me wrong, I am always excited for it to come around because I adore red and pink and flowers and hearts. And candy. The actual following of the holiday though? I can take it or leave it. 

My thought was it's a made up holiday, so what's the point. But you know what? All holidays are made up. I don't remember where I heard that, but I laughed. Because it's true. We put significance and importance on certain things because there's something good about them. There's something we want to celebrate. So, why is Valentine's Day so different? I have a thought for why (for me anyway). 

It's about showing love. Mostly romantic love, but any kind of love: familial, platonic, etc. A big celebration of love. Which is fabulous. Who doesn't love love? This is what I see though. Men running around on the day trying to find flowers or candy. Women in offices with hurt faces when a bouquet doesn't show up for them, but it does for someone else. Parents staying up late to make goodies for classmates. Carnations being handed out to everyone except that one kid in class. Expectations being wildly met or wildly unmet. For me, I wanted these things every day. Well, maybe not every day (that's a lot of flowers), but I wanted to feel like it was Valentine's Day every day. I wanted to feel special every day. I wanted to show my love every day. Why put all your energy into one day, when you had literally 364 other days? 

It's not that any of my former partners never showed me how much they cared those other 364 days. They did! But Valentine's Day always felt so stressful. Was I going to get flowers? What kind of gift should I get them? Do we need a reservation? And what about Galentine's Day? Do I need to organize a brunch for my girlfriends? Do I need to get six other gifts? It all began to feel like too much. So, I started to have no expectations. And not planning things. I planned a lot of things. And honestly? It gets really tiring being the one to make the plans all the time. To gather the people. Anything grand or small felt special to me. Until it didn't because it felt like the only reason any of this was happening was because it was Valentine's Day, not for any real feelings towards me. This was more so on the romantic love part, it's difficult getting girl friends together at the best times, honestly.

This Valentine's Day was different. Obviously. I wouldn't be writing this if it was the same. It didn't feel over the top. I didn't feel stressed. It was both chill and exciting. And, the best of all, it was a celebration of the culmination of love that I/we experienced throughout the year. And that is what made it so special. It felt like our normal date nights, with just a little extra touch. Also, I got to wear this beautiful dress outside my apartment. 

Flowers are more fun on random days, but flowers on Valentine's Day are special too. And it turns out I don't mind being someone's Valentine after all.