Parallel Play

I have really been digging into my relationships lately. I want to be a better friend and I also want to have better friendships. There was a moment in my life when all I wanted were cancelled plans. Now? I am quite peeved when plans are cancelled (unless there is a very good, specific reason). 

Even as an individualistic person, the individualism that is plaguing our society is making my skin crawl. People say they want a village, but they refuse to be a villager. 

Before I dig myself a little too deep, let me say that our mental health has been plummeting as a society. We do need to be better as a society and as individuals in helping to create better mental health spaces and breaks. But the answer to that has become "self-care" in the sense that it's okay to cancel plans when you just don't feel like going. It is always of upmost importance to keep your mental health a priority. You should do the things that make you feel better. And if those things are always cancelling plans because you're "too tired", it's not self-care, it's isolation (or maybe your friends aren't that great).

As I've gotten older (hello, 37), I've realized that my friendships are so important and that it takes actual work to keep them going. I've known this for awhile (I mean, duh), but it's never been more apparent now. I have a job that I enjoy that keeps me busy during actual working hours. I am in a relationship/partnership with someone that actually wants to be around me and who I want to be around. I have a select group of girlfriends that I want to see on a regular basis. And I absolutely cherish my alone time. That is a lot to juggle. And juggle it we must. 

Because our hanging out culture is dominated by drinking and going out culture, I can see how easy it is for people to opt out. You're spending money, drive time, and social battery points. It's a lot. And it's hard. Don't get me wrong, I love a fabulous night out with my girlfriends, but I have been very into home hangouts as of late. I came across this article about parallel play for adults and while I've been doing this for awhile, I never realized this was what it was. 

Parallel play is when two individuals are doing things separately, but together. For instance, when my partner and I are both on the couch and I'm reading while he's playing a video game. We stop and chat throughout, we're connecting, but we're in our own worlds as well. Parallel play is easy to do with a live in significant other or roommate. And it's becoming a way to hang out with your friends. A rather perfect way to hang out with friends, if I do say so myself. Planning a craft or admin day with my friends is so much fun. We get to hang out, but we don't have to completely deplete our social batteries or spend a ton of money. And we might just get something checked off a list in the meantime. If you're looking for ways to parallel play with your friends (or partner), try these:

• reading by the pool
• chore/admin day
• paint/color/diamond art and sip
• scrapbook/knit/embroider/etc.
• scroll social media
• watch a movie or TV show
• have an analog only day

I think people get in their heads a little too much when it comes to hanging out. If you're comfortable with a person, silence isn't awkward, it can be a little bit of a blessing. Natural silences are the best with the right person or people. If you're at dinner with someone, maybe put the phone down or away. But sitting side by side on the sofa while scrolling and showing each other funny videos occasionally is also a wonderful, battery charging experience. 

Creating your village takes work and it takes you showing up. Sometimes showing up might be the hardest thing you do in a day, but it is always worth it (kind of like a workout). It's really easy to joke about cancelling plans, but when you're doing it all the time, it might be a good time to take a look at the why. Also, as someone who loves to host, being cancelled on really sucks (when there is no good reason). Figure out what works for you and your village. Try mixing in a few couch hangs with activities (or not) with an alfresco dinner and drinks. And, maybe, just maybe, say no when you don't want to do something. You can always change it to a yes later! 

Reds, greens, and blues - Oh my!

One of the many dressing goals I have this year is to try colors I wouldn't normally pair together. And did we really hit the nail with this outfit. I saw this post by Julia Berlozheimer and just knew I needed to figure out how to recreate it with pieces from my wardrobe. 

I had to mix around a lot of the colors, but I got there in the end. And I haven't actually worn this skirt for a real outfit (just costumes) in such a long time. I've long adored this green and red together, but adding in the different blues makes it pop so much more. I really can't get over it. The broach truly adds that special touch this outfit would otherwise be missing. Julia did have pops of yellow in her outfit and I do wish I had something that could have brought that out (mainly a yellow shoe). A yellow ballet flat or sandal has been added to my wish list! 

While I never really thought of my outfits as beige or boring, I was becoming stagnant with solids and wearing the same colors over and over again. And, yes, wearing a lot more neutrals. Don't get me wrong, I love a good neutral, but I can't abide a boring neutral outfit. Mixing colors that are surprising is a lot more fun and maybe a tiny bit easier to put together than an exciting neutral outfit. Maybe that depends on the weather and my mood! 

I hope to continue finding new and exciting ways to pair colors this year. Maybe I should dive into a giant box of crayons for some inspiration. Inspiration does seem to pop up in unlikely places! I can say my eyes are open way more than they were last year. 

Notes + Favorites #6

Okay, maybe I'm not great at keeping up with these. But I am still here, so I think that is what matters. We're trying to create a habit and that looks messy sometimes. 

Speaking of habits, I did my first run of the year. I started running in February last year, but woof, it's been cold, snowy, and rainy (I no longer have a gym at my fingertips). My endurance has definitely taken a hit, but I felt strong and I was in the 12 minute mile time (I know, it's not great, but it's good for me!). I have two days scheduled during the week for shorter runs (3-4 miles) and Saturday for longer miles (5-10 miles). 

As you can see, I'm reading quite a few books at once. I did actually finish No Country for Old Men, but wanted to leave it on here. I'm trying to get all the Goodreads challenges completed before the end of the month. Just three more books. They're all quite different which is great! 

What I'm Reading: No Country for Old Men by Cormac McCarthy, The Diary of Anaïs Nin Volume 1 1931-1934 by Anaïs Nin, Battle of the Bookstores by Ali Brady, and Hekate - The Witch (Goddesses of the Underworld) by Nikita Gill

Word of the Day: virescent /vi·res·cent/ - turning green, greenish

No more beige, instead, double drench. 

Personal style and why bigger might be better. 

This dress is on my wish list.

Getting dressed up and going to a museum is my kind of day.

J. Crew is back! You'll still catch me at J. Crew Factory (hello, budget).

The importance of platonic soulmates.

Just some Coca-Cola things.

What I Wore 3.7.26

Honestly, not entirely proud of my outfits this week. I did feel cute and they worked, but the time change really kicked my ass and I could not get up early. This impacted how much time I had to get dressed (which can take some time!). Looking back now, I wore a lot of trousers this week. The weather also flipped back to cold and that was a bummer. I am trying to give myself some grace. Not every outfit has to be crazy, they just have to work and help me feel good. I feel like I mostly accomplished that. Thursday was iffy. Not all weeks are going to be the most inspiring for me, but c'est la vie!

I did leave the apartment on Saturday and decided to try for a really casual look. A t-shirt and jeans! Who is she? Still loving my red socks. They truly make such a difference to an otherwise basic outfit. Shop the look here.

I could not fathom putting on real clothes. I was up most of the early morning dealing with loud neighbors and with the time change... I was exhausted. I think this was the start of my exhausting and weird week. Shop the look here.

I really wanted to wear a pair of blue or yellow shoes with this. But since those are not a part of my wardrobe yet, we went with the trusty reds! Something simple for a working Monday! Shop the look here.

This was a favorite look from last year. It might have been too early to wear this top, but who cares?! Not me! I wanted to be comfortable for the office and I had a run planned for my lunch break. It was really easy to throw back on after three miles of sweat. I really wanted to wear my red heels, but stopped myself because I don't want to overwear them. Shop the look here.

I felt very cute and comfortable in this! I thrifted the stripe shirt and sweater vest from ThredUp. This red stripe top is going to get a lot of play in my wardrobe this Spring and Summer! I am really trying to add more red into my wardrobe (I do really love it). Shop the look here.

My least favorite outfit of the week. I was feeling very off and had planned a run for the middle of the day. It feels classic and the silver heels make it pop a little, but it's a bit blah. Shop the look here.

This is probably my favorite outfit from the week. I put it together on Wednesday? But the temperature dropped so much and it was a day of storms, so I didn't this would quite be it. It's still cold today, but we're taking a chance. Shop the look here.

Camera Roll Crumbs 2.28.26

The first, nicest day we've had to get our bikes out of storage. Devin is big on riding bikes and I am... more of a walker. I do love spending this kind of time with him though, so I have my little cruiser (that's actually quite heavy) with no gears. I'm just peddling away while his amazing (what I call "real") bike just zooms everywhere. We're both hoping to cruise around Downtown Indy and Broad Ripple more this year! Maybe we'll even make a trek to Carmel (though I'm not entirely sure I could make it ha!). 

We first stopped into Parlor Public House for a wee drink and a read. We stayed there for a couple hours and then biked to lunch at Shin Dig. After a lovely little nap, we ventured out for dinner at Los Arroyos (we drove this time) and spent the evening playing games at MashCraft. Writing it out like that makes it feel like we were all over the place (I guess we were!), but it was the best and really relaxing. I love spending days like this with my favorite people. No plans, just vibes.

It was warm, but not too warm. I wanted to look cute, but also I was going to be on a bike. Normally, I would wear some kind of fitness skirt or dress, but that was not it. I pulled out my now trusty barrel jeans. And chose a lot of layers. When the weather is in between like it is during this time of year, layers will save you. I even tied another sweater over my trench coat (I've been wanting to try this!). And added two pins to the sleeve of that sweater. It looked super fun and cute. Yes, I did get a little warm, but it was kind of perfect. I lost the white sweater for the evening look.

Here's to more weekend days and nights out with you.